As the football season turns towards the final strait, the transfer rumour machine goes into overdrive.
Fans of all shapes and sizes are diverted from their few unanswered questions like can Steve Bruce’s Pluto transit actually be strong enough for Hull City to beat Arsenal at Wembley and can Gareth Bale get to score the winner of La Decima with Jupiter on his Sun ?
Surely, you might think people have got other things to focus on particularly with the World Cup on the horizon, but the sad fact is in England, no one is that interested in the national team and questions about Roy Hodgson’s squad leave us bored to tears.
This is simply a self preservation instinct. Being a football fan has its occasional joys but the emotional vulnerability that goes with the territory of attachment to a team can only really be understood by someone with the Sun and Moon in Cancer. These characters are so used to suffering as a result of their sensitivities and close family relationships that they have to develop a hard outer protective shell like their symbolic mascot, the Crab.
We all know England are onto a hiding in Brazil. The only reason that Luis Suarez has stopped blitzing goals from all angles in the last few weeks is because he is saving it up for Uruguay in the summer. Italy might be also having a fallow period but the tropical heat and absurd kick off times in Manaus should put paid to any illusions that we might get the better of them. Even Costa Rica might be too strong for us particularly as Roy’s Saturn transits during the tournament should comfortably enable him to make the worst of whatever is put in front of him.
So as a nation we will suppress our ” Ingerlund ” tendencies. Of course this will only last until we get to within a month of the tournament itself and then we will get caught up in the inevitable rising clamour only to suffer accordingly. At the end of the day its the pain that we are addicted to, it is as any experienced Cancerian will tell you, the natural result of the possessiveness of love.
For the time being we feign indifference to international football and get our entertainment from exclusively concentrating on that great unknown – next season. And the thing that makes it most unknown is the hope that our squad lists for August will contain some of the exotic names that the newspapers are currently assuring us are cast iron certainties to take the Premier League shilling.
Somewhere in the back of our minds we know that 95% of these deals will never be done but that doesn’t stop us mentally formulating the proposed first eleven with the knowledge that it will surely win us the League in a year’s time.
The fact that it is not real doesn’t deter us, it actually encourages us as anyone who has played the wonderful computer game, Football Manager will know.
Any player will know how fantastically addictive it is but they can be assured that their experience of it is limited by a lack of knowledge of the birthcharts of the virtual footballers at their fingertips.
After many years of attempting to win the Champions League with his beloved Watford FC, Capricorn Research was unfairly sacked due to overstretched resources and a lack of focus on the club’s Premier League position despite the fact that the Hornets had won the CL group stage and were handily placed to despatch A C Milan in the quarters.
The only possible response to this was to take up the Arsenal job that was offered and to bring together a big man, big man strike force of Emmanuel Adebayor, who in 2008 was actually quite good without requiring the motivation of playing for a new contract, and Benfica and Paraguay legend, Oscar Cardozo.
Having Mutable Suns, both men were surprisingly fast and agile for big strikers and the aspects between their respective lights together with Jupiter transitting both their Moons, served up the Champs League, Premier League and F A Cup on a plate.
At this point Capricorn Research could easily have disappeared into the virtual world of gaming altogether, but fortunately was not allowed to by Pluto’s transit to his own Sun demanding that the destiny of Astrology research be respected. Everything on this website has come from that transit along with the decision to give up Football Manager, but the power of the addiction is recognised and it is still understood to be ‘ one day at a time ‘.
Coming back to the actual impending transfer window, we all know that the most entertaining ” cast iron, nailed on certainties ” will never happen, but we love to dream anyway. And the perfect example of this is the latest Wayne Rooney to Paris St Germain rumour.
The beauty of this one is it already makes a whole list of assumptions about events that may not even occur, but we are not deflected by that.
The first one is the impending arrival at United of perfect manager Louis Van Gaal and the assumption that an eloquent Dutch manager is likely to pick another eloquent Dutchman as his main striker over a monosyllabic English one. This suggestion is often backed up with pictures of Van Gaal and Robin Van Persie in deep discussion about tactical nuances.
Apparently the follicly challenged one is already concerned about his place in the side next season and even a cursory knowledge of astrology would confirm his right to be worried. Because as well as Van Gaal and Van Persie sharing the same nationality and interest in discussing football’s finer points, they also share the same Sun sign, Leo. In fact their Suns are in close conjunction.
That they naturally agree on all matters to do with football is shown by the fact that they both also have an extremely close conjunction of their Mars’ at 23 – 25 degrees of Cancer.
The main reason why Capricorn Research would advise Ed Woodward or whoever it is that decides these things to snap up Van Gaal straight away without making him cross by delaying, is that come next May, when the titles are handed out Jupiter is at 15 degrees Leo, conjunct his Sun.
It goes without saying that the giant planet is also conjunct Van Persie’s Sun.
The other important point to make is that Jupiter is conjunct their Mars during the 2nd half of June which would suggest a successful time during the World Cup, although they would no doubt rather have it a few weeks later for the final.
Either way it gives them plenty of opportunity to work on an attacking shape that is less dependent on a robustly physical but slow moving withdrawn striker who does not pass to his partner.
The season just coming to an end has not been the greatest for Van Persie. The main reason for that is the travails of David Moyes.
Interestingly the standout aspect between the two charts is the exact conjunction between Moyes’ Mars and Van Persie’s Sun at 13 Leo. On its own this would be an excellent connection between a manager and his main striker, but the aspects that Moyes’ Mars has made helped to strain the relationship.
Moyes has a Sun / Mars square which means that his Sun is also square to Van Persie’s Sun. That’s a bit tricky but the real killer is Saturn.
David Moyes has a Mars / Saturn opposition which basically makes him a tremendous trier with a very strong work ethic but also sets a ceiling for how high he could go in football management.
Saturn as we know is the principle of limitation and obstruction and its transits since he got the United job were a sure fire indication that he had stepped beyond his natural level.
No one could be expected to have a good season that started off with a transfer window entirely hampered by Saturn being opposite their Sun, but the ringed planet’s continued harassment of Moyes’ Mars and Moon ensured that 2013 – 14 would be a dismal one for all concerned.
This also meant that Saturn was square to Van Persie’s Sun for much of the time which meant that the Dutchman ( Sun ) personified the Scot’s troubles ( Saturn square Moyes’ Mars ).
The trouble is that Rooney as a Scorpio would not naturally get on with either of them.
Taurus, Leo and Scorpio are all Fixed signs but belong to the very contrasting elements of Earth, Fire and Water respectively. The signs operate in very different directions but with the same intensity and stubborn determination.
Rooney and Moyes’ Suns are opposite each other and despite all the assurances to the contrary they would struggle to see eye to eye. The tensions had been there before after Rooney’s departure from Everton and these came to a head last summer when Saturn was exacerbating the opposition at 4 degrees Scorpio.
The tensions endemic in an opposition in someone’s chart can be focused onto a third planet in square aspect to both of them, creating a T Square. This same pattern can exist between the charts of different people.
So with Rooney’s Sun at the beginning of Scorpio and Moyes’ Sun at the same point in Taurus, their strained relationship could be used against them by any third party with the Sun in early Leo or Aquarius.
Step forward that master of mind games, Jose Mourinho with the Sun at 5 degrees Aquarius.
Even with hindsight its difficult to be sure whether Mourinho’s interest in Rooney last summer was genuine or an attempt purely to destabilise Moyes.
Given that Mourinho’s Sun is also in difficult ( square ) aspect to Rooney’s, a transfer to Chelsea would probably just have extended the list of strikers that Jose could spend all season moaning about.
Apart from the £ 40,001 bid for Luis Suarez apparently inspired by the Arsenal board’s smoking habits, the Rooney to Chelsea episode was the most entertaining event of a seriously disappointing transfer window.
Whenever there is a fight of any sort, Scorpios usually manage to manipulate the situation to come out on top in the end and the net result was that Moyes and United panicked under pressure from Saturn and awarded Rooney a five and a half year deal at £ 300,000 per week.
No self respecting Football Manager player would have been held to ransom in this fashion even if they were unaware that Neptune would be conjunct Rooney’s Moon for at least the last two years of it.
So the centre of much of last summer’s transfer speculation is already jockeying for position in the coming year’s race possibly buoyed by the knowledge that Leos and Scorpios don’t get on.
Much of what has made Wayne Rooney such a force of nature comes from his powerful Sun / Pluto conjunction in Scorpio. It gives him the intensity to fight his corner to the end. The fact that Louis Van Gaal has exactly the same conjunction in Leo is no doubt encouraging Rooney’s agent, Paul Stretford to make a few weekend trips to Paris this springtime.
Of course the PSG rumour is the result of the newspapers desperately casting around to look for the only club that has enough money and stupidity to match Rooney’s current contract and pay a big fee for him.
Given all of the above, such an imaginary move makes sense for Rooney. Even learning French wouldn’t be such a great stretch for his English vocabulary. And above all PSG manager, Laurent Blanc is a kindred spirit.
Blanc has the Sun in Scorpio and from his time playing for Man United could probably understand the accent, so it might seem that this would be the ideal result for all concerned.
The only trouble is Blanc has Saturn heading his way and after PSG’s capitulation in the Champions League to Chelsea, it would be hard to see him surviving through to the end of November, particularly if PSG get a tough group stage next year.
The other point is that Blanc’s Saturn is conjunct Rooney’s Moon, so maybe not so good after all.
Perhaps we’re looking at a transfer that would go ahead, only for Blanc to get the sack. PSG would then be looking for a new manager and the only one available would be David Moyes. Its definitely happening, somewhere in a parallel universe.
Given all this conjecture and ephemeris bothering, readers would naturally understand how Capricorn Research could get so besotted with Football Manager that he wouldn’t be able to go to work.
One day at a time !