Harold Wilson once said ” A week is a long time in politics “. But then he was a Pisces with a Gemini Moon so an hour would have seemed long enough.
This week, even 10 minutes was too much for Fishy Sunak – ” Er what ? no, I’m not ready, oh shit, must I ? what if I hang on a bit ? have I got time to do the focus groups ? oh bollocks, yes me too. I meant to say it first but the dignity of my office required me to give it a moment’s fair reflection “.
It was way too much for Shitty Patel – ” No hang on a minute, I haven’t finished filling up Rwanda yet. Oh fuck, missed out altogether. Ahem, the seriousness of my office and my commitment to the important task of torturing all my staff meant I could not resign, but I wanted to, believe me, you better believe me, if you don’t I’ll lock up all your family “
But a week would be plenty for Blowjob. No doubt his famous studies of ex prime ministers have convinced him that if he can hang on until next Thursday, everyone will have forgotten about it and they’ll let him stay as PM forever.
Well if you think it’s tough for these arseholes, pity the poor astrologers who have to come up with an entirely new theory with less than a moment’s notice.
” It was always inevitable that he’d go today because Mars is opposite his Moon “.
If only there was some way we could get rid of twitter headline seeking Astros every time that transit occurred.
The fact of the matter is Boris Johnson has two massive life changing transits about to happen between now and when the next election is meant to be.
Neptune will be square to his Sun and Pluto will be square to his Moon.
He has not had anything comparable since his halcyon days at uni shagging pig’s heads.
Since that’s the only other job he’s actually had apart from getting Brexit done, it seems only natural that these transits will see him back on a farm, checking out the freshers.
A couple of years ago, or several lifetimes by Wilson’s dictum, and back when Dominic Cummings spreading Covid around the country was Big Job’s toughest problem, I wrote an article saying he would be out well before the election. See – The Tauries – A Perpetual Chimp’s Tea Party
As the next election wasn’t due until the end of 2024, I felt the Zoo would hold out until 2023 to replace him. The main reason for this is that any more than a year or so gives the next chimp off the rank plenty of time to fuck things up even worse than Johnson had already done.
No doubt there is a highly sophisticated algorithm at central office that tells them exactly how long to allow their new hero before they completely wreck the place.
This time, it seems they have gone a bit early. Maybe the above algorithm clashed with the other one they have which judges how long it takes for the comatose British public to forget how much shit the last chimp threw around everywhere.
Anyway this current timing, together with the above 10 minutes hesitation may well have scuppered my original favourite, Pissy Sunak’s chances.
It looks however as if Saturn has had a fair bit to say about that.
Saturn first squared his Sun when the Partygate allegations came out and at first there were indications that he had leaked the story, all the better to set himself up as the next leader.
However Saturn managed to get him implicated as well so that didn’t go so well.
The May lunar eclipse ( apex Saturn ) saw a bit of revenge leaking from the chief monkey dumping that piano of his wife’s tax dom status on his foot, so that didn’t go so well either.
And just while he was playing the long game, waiting for Saturn to bugger off, Saddo Javid jumped the gun and plunged him into a probable August dogfight. Just as Saturn is back square to his Sun then.
So it looks like Uranus conjunct Sunak’s Sun in 2023 / 4 could take him out of UK politics altogether and Jupiter conjunct his Sun in April 2024 would see him get a plum finance job probably in the US.
So if not Prissy Sunak, who then ?
If Sunak was wrong footed for that precious 10 minutes, Nadir Zahawi was given the Cristiano Ronaldo multiple step over treatment.
One minute he was made Chancellor and making declarations about a new budget, the next he figured he might lose his new job before the end of the week, so as soon as he moved into no 11 he told his next door neighbour to sod off.
One Tory MP said that left Zahawi “ looking like a nob “.
So perfect for Boris’ old job then.
If a week is such a long time in politics, you have to think like a Tory strategist.
It’s not good enough just to have great transits in time for the leadership election. What is required is someone who will have them when the next general election is held.
What about Penny Mordor ?
It would be inconceivable for the Tauries to elect someone with the Sun and Moon in Pisces.
If they do, the run up to 2024 includes Saturn conjunct her Venus, Sun and Moon and even Keir Starmer with Saturn opposing his Sun might be able to get past her.
How about Tom Tugshishat ?
If the leadership election is delayed until September he has a good chance with Jupiter conjunct his Mars.
2024 will see both Uranus and Jupiter conjunct that Moon but we still don’t know exactly when.
Lose Trust ?
And 2024 – 26 sees Pluto opposite her Sun would mark the kind of power needed to do something significant in a general election.
Saturn passing through that Moon / Venus / Neptune T square earlier in 2024, however could mean a dramatic and embarrassing loss.
To return to Harold Wilson’s dictum.
If a week is a long time in politics, having a birthday 3 days later could just make all the difference.
This means that the Saturn / Sun square that will probably hamper Sunak’s chances will be over for Wallace by next week.
Leaving Uranus conjunct his Mercury and trine his Moon ( probably ) to help him with the leadership election.
And if the Tory central office algorithm has any kind of astrological component he will surely get the job, because 2024 sees Jupiter conjunct his Sun, Venus, Mars and square his Moon.
The likely general election date will happen when Uranus is conjunct his Sun and Jupiter conjunct his Mars.
Looking at all of this the most likely outcome is a Wallace leadership having cut a deal with Zahawi to stay on as Chancellor.
Sunak will be cursing that lost 10 minutes and probably land some job prosecuting abortion providers in America.
And Johnson will no doubt be holding out until Mars reaches Gemini in late August so he can do a Trump and organise a coup d’etat.
Who knows ? Even a week is a long time….
What you can be sure of, if this happens there will be plenty of astrologers on twitter saying it was bound to because of his Mars Return.
Posted on July 8th 2022