Don’t Kiss Me Kate

Buried underneath an avalanche of stories about how Meghan’s Dad doesn’t even get to see his own grandchild and how the second in line to the throne doesn’t always travel to state occasions by bus, Capricorn Research has unearthed an intriguing piece about how Prince William – ( remember him ? ) has had an affair.

That well known bastion of journalistic reliability, Star magazine says that Princess Kate has moved out of Kensington Palace and taken the kids to her parents and that she ” just lies in bed worrying about the future.”

Apparently Kate is ” terrified she’ll end up miserable and depressed, just like Diana.”

However Gossip Cop says that she didn’t move out and that ” she and William were seen smiling and laughing together at numerous events “. Presumably this means that all the rumours are untrue, because for the last 1000 years, no royal couple has ever attempted to cover up their infidelities by holding hands in public.

So what are we all to make of this ? Is there any truth in these rumours ? Who can we believe in this era of fake news and scurrilous gossip.

Well never fear because Capricorn Research has returned from a year of self imposed exile from social media ( he was chucked off Twitter for telling some tiresome sceptic to go and kill himself ) to do the astro digging on precisely these kinds of stories so that you don’t have to.

In fact I predicted dire stuff for Kate a few years ago, peaking in 2019, and until reading about these rumours I was more than slightly pissed off that nothing untoward had happened.

Don’t get me wrong. I didn’t actually want Kate to die in a tunnel, suffocated by conspiracy theories, but we Brits have a need to be entertained by our royals every so often and Wills and Kate have been letting the side down.

So affair – yes or no ?


Ever since these royal fairy stories began, the chief purpose of getting married is to find a suitable gal to provide ” an heir and a spare ” while the heir to the throne continues philandering at polo parties.

And since the last one, it has also seemed imperative to pick one who wouldn’t do her own field playing while being chased by the whole of the world’s media.

Given these requirements whoever it is that has to trawl through innumerable debutante balls in search of suitable candidates for mating with our young princes would have given themselves a pat on the back for finding someone with a squeaky clean, stiff upper lipped Capricorn Sun and a regal demeanour Leo rising.

Throw in the fact that Kate has the Sun in the 5th house of children and the Moon in fertile, motherly Cancer and she seemed an inspired choice.

Ok, the T square to an apex Saturn is a difficult one but it’s hardly the kind of thing that would cause her to tilt her head at an impossible angle whilst crying on national TV and running off to have babies with a Muslim gentleman is it ?

And after all, William’s granny had one – an apex Saturn that is, not a Muslim baby.

But maybe this is part of the problem.

William’s granny also married someone who had a number of affairs – allegedly ( like many royal astrologers before him, Capricorn Research has no desire to spend the rest of his days in the Tower ).

And the thing about Capricorn ( Liz has it rising ) is that you wouldn’t complain in public, because control of image and all that.

So perhaps this was part of William’s plan all along.

Pick a suitable Capricorn / 5th house candidate. Give her lots of babies. Wait until your ginger ( half ? ) brother acts as a media decoy by marrying an American soap opera star and quietly get back to doing what all your ancestors did.

The chief problem with the astrology of the royals is whenever a wedding or a new born comes along all the punters have to be rounded up to say what beautiful charts they have and how the synastry is perfect etc… ( presumably in order to keep their own heads somewhere in conjunction with their bodies ).

Capricorn Research’s most common response to reading these pieces of astro fluff is WTabsoluteF ? Have you actually even looked at the chart ?

The synastry of Charles And Diana – A Match Made In Heaven  has enough material “for a whole conference ” to quote the famous line from the Psychologist in Fawlty Towers.

Kate’s chart with the exact T Square with Capricorn Sun opposite Cancer Moon and apex Saturn with the conjunction to Pluto thrown in for good measure is quite simply a disaster waiting to happen.

Throw in the fact that William was born under an eclipse in Cancer in the 7th house of marriage – a combination that clearly points to serious trouble between his parents, the early loss of his mother and quite probably this pattern continuing through to his own married life.

And that Prince George has an exact Sun / Moon opposition – Cancer to Capricorn also with Saturn at the apex of a T Square suggesting loss of his mother.

Capricorn Research was expecting the worst, particularly this year as Saturn is conjunct Kate’s Sun. I shared these fears with a number of people including many astrologers who were shocked by my treasonous predictions.

It seems that this alleged affair occurred while Kate was pregnant with Louis and Pluto was conjunct her Sun – a fitting turning point in her life, if ever there was one.

It has come to the attention of the world’s media this year with Saturn conjunct her Sun.

If I had Kate’s recent transits I would have happily taken hubby having an affair as the worst thing that could happen.

Lets have a look at William



Sun in Cancer in the 7th house. Sagittarius rising. Venus in Taurus in the 5th in hard aspect to Uranus. Mars surrounded by heavyweights.

This is a combination that looks scaringly familiar.



The People’s Princess’ chart has been pored over by more people than any other one in human history. Many have asked the question ” Was her tragic end shown here ? ”

Of course it was – its bleeding obvious. If you are interested read  Princess Diana’s Death – Why ?

So back to William’s chart.

An eclipsed Sun in Cancer in the 7th opposite to Neptune rising in Sagittarius. Venus in the 5th house of affairs opposite Uranus, Mars in Libra conjunct Saturn.

Is this the kind of thing you might expect in a chart of someone likely to have a bit on the side ?

Ummmm – that would be a no, he is a veritable fairy tale prince who rides off with his bride into the sunset and they all live happily ever after.

At least until out of range of the cameras and then he instantly cops off with the nearest  ” fashion model “. And I say nearest literally because with the Sun and Moon in Cancer in the 7th this is not a man who is going to travel far for his infidelities.

So he’s plumped for Kate’s best mate and next door neighbour in Norfolk. And it’s a well known fact that natives of this county like to keep their affairs within a tightly knit gene pool. Maybe the whole county is ruled by Cancer.

The alleged target was Rose ( nee Hanbury ) Cholomondeley, someone whose name sounds suspiciously like a barmaid who was got ” into trouble ” by some upper class arse at a passing out ceremony at Eton ( presumably they had run right out of pig’s heads ). and said arse was forced to marry her.



Not having a birth time for Rose Hanbury makes it difficult to be sure, but that T Square between Venus in Pisces ( barmaid ) opposite Moon in Leo ( meets upper class pratt ) for a spot of apex Mars in Scorpio ( do I have to make it any clearer ? ) seems to cover it all quite well.

And it goes without saying that said apex Mars in Scorpio is in exact opposition to Prince William’s Venus in the 5th.

Apparently now Rose Hanbury Cholmondeley is worried that these press rumours will be putting pressure on her own marriage to Marquess Somebody Doodah.

In true upper class fashion she’s not concerned that the actual affair would be causing trouble, just the fact that it gets a mention in the media.

So if any of my readers want to offer the above as absolute concrete proof of alleged infidelities, I will insert a disclaimer here. You might have a death wish that includes getting mysteriously run over by Prince Philip while on holiday in Scotland, but you’re not going to take me with you.




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