With Her Passing, My Mum Taught Me The Most Important Lesson Of All

I have been totally overwhelmed by the wonderfully loving and caring response from everyone on these pages to my dear Mum’s passing.

I have spoken to Mum about it since and she has been blown away too. She wanted to find the most appropriate way to thank you all, so we decided we should use this occasion to look at the astrology of it. 

It is for all of us to try and find some way to see the Universe as a benevolent, supporting force rather than the uncaring chaos that many modern thinkers insist it is. 

They dismiss the need for a spiritual view of life as some sort of crutch required by inadequates who can’t face reality.

In fact the very opposite is true. Their chaos theory is simply their own ego’s defence mechanism, which instructs them to see anything that is not “ them “ as a potential threat and to arm against it. 

People choose the religious view they have to help support their comprehension that there is fundamental order in life. 

Some people need a tight set of rules and an exclusivity to support this view, others don’t. 

Since the discovery of Uranus and particularly of Pluto many of humanity’s religious beliefs and structures have been rightly questioned and have lost their relevance. 

These days a conventional religious viewpoint is seen more as an excuse for abhorrent political opinions.

The saddest thing about the last century is that spirituality has yet to come up with a clear, convincing expression to take the place of old time religion. 

Maybe this is an Age of Pisces to Age of Aquarius issue that will find a new way in time. 

Until that happens we only have our own experience to help us through.

That, and astrology.

My own experience is that Pluto transiting conjunct my Capricorn Moon in my early 60s brought about massive upheaval in my life, taking a sledgehammer to my career, my home and my dysfunctional marriage.

At the time it was scary, I had no idea what would follow, but obviously all those things had to be cleared out of the way in order to meet the true love of all my lives and to move to the other side of the world to marry and be with her.

In true Plutonic style, this meant leaving behind everything from my previous life. The most difficult part of that was saying goodbye to my 91 year old Mum. I knew it was very likely I would not see her again. The complicated Australian visa laws meant that I could not leave my new country until I received permanent residency, a process that was likely to take 3 years minimum.

And I knew what transits Mum had coming up.

At this point I should make it clear that I never had her birthtime. For many years I assumed Mum to have a Pisces Moon ( which she would have if born after 6.00 am ) because of her compassionate, empathic nature.

However, I have 3 sisters and all of them have either the Sun or Moon in the last decanate of Aquarius. All four of them are very close, so I have assumed Mum had the Moon there as well and what I previously felt to be a Piscean Moon was covered by an Aquarian Moon opposite Neptune.

This was confirmed for me when Uranus reached late Aquarius in 2002 and my Dad died.

Taurus rising with a 4th house Sun makes perfect sense, as does the 7th house Saturn, because Dad was a Sagittarius.

Mum’s Sun in the 4th with a close trine to Saturn says a lot about the enduring nature and stability of their marriage ( over 50 years together and in the same home for 35 ).

Pluto was conjunct Mum’s Venus when they married in 1950.

But when I said goodbye to her at the end of 2019, I knew she would have to experience Saturn opposite and Uranus square to her Sun ( through 2021 ) followed by Saturn conjunct her Moon ( now ).

I did not expect her to survive 2022.

As Saturn started to oppose her Sun, it became clear that the forgetfulness that she had been experiencing for some time had become dementia, and a fall with a broken wrist prompted us to take the decision to place her in a loving, care home near to my youngest sister’s house.

I have yet to meet a 93 year old who would be willing to leave a house they had lived in for over half a century. If you add a 4th house Leo Sun into the mix along with a Fixed Moon and Ascendant, well you get the picture.

But Saturn always gets its own way, and with the transits to come it was imperative that she should move to somewhere that she could get 24 hour care.

Uranus square to her Sun saw the house sold to pay for her care.

With the recent eclipse at 25 Taurus / Scorpio ( with its apex Saturn T square at 25 Aquarius ) looming, I alerted my siblings to the likelihood that she would be passing very soon.

In my experience, someone’s death would not necessarily be so evident from their own chart but it certainly would be from the charts of those close to them.

As my sisters all had Saturn transiting conjunct their Aquarian lights and my brother had it square to his Sun, and I had Pluto right on my Ascendant, it seemed that the Universe was bringing things to a head in a very specific way.

The eclipse came and went. Mum showed no sign of going along with the narrative. She even went on a 3 hour bus trip to the seaside a week later.

And despite a couple of Saturn type falls and three separate fractures ( wrist, ankle and knee ) she was still here.

What I now realise is that she had made a pledge to her eldest grandchild when she was very young that she would live long enough to see her married.

The wedding was postponed twice because of Covid but finally happened on June 4th.

The following day the care home alerted us to the fact that Mum was deteriorating rapidly and end of life care was already starting. Mum left her body on 7th June.

A 4th house Leo Sun, Aquarius Moon, Taurus rising person would be certain to keep that pledge, whatever Saturn threw at her. Once the wedding was over, she was content to go.

There are many different views on the timeframe of an eclipse’s effects. Some astrologers will say that they last for 6 months until the next one. I cannot agree with this – it would mean that we are always being impacted by eclipses.

However I think it perfectly reasonable for an eclipse to last until the next Moon, a new one for a solar eclipse and a full Moon for a lunar one.

With this time frame, Mum passed under the eclipse. Saturn had also stationed on the eclipse degree.

My siblings were at her side, I was on the other side of the world.

I did not see this as a disadvantage though. I was fortunate to be able to remember her as she was 2.5 years before. Also in the couple of months before she died my communication with her had become something that felt more telepathic. I felt I was conversing with her essence or soul.

This was triggered by an extraordinary experience.

In the months before she died, Mum’s dementia had increased to a point where she did not recognise her visiting children. But there was one visitor that she did see clearly. A young man would come daily and sit on her window sill talking to her.

When asked who he was, she just said he was from the village down the road. One day my sister asked if he was the man in a picture that she showed her. Mum said ” yes thats him “. Mum didn’t recognise him but it was a photo of my Dad on their wedding day.

During one phone call I decided to test this vision that she had. I asked her if he was there at the time. She said he was and he was smiling at her.

I asked her to ask him who he was. She said ” Oh, I couldn’t do that “. I said tell him who I am and that I was interested to know who he was so I could thank him for coming to visit my Mum.

I waited while she spoke out loud to this young man, explaining that I was her son in Australia ( this was a good day when she knew me ). There was a silence, because I obviously couldn’t hear his response.

Then she told me ” he said ‘ you know who I am ‘ “.

I was stunned because it was exactly the way my Dad would have responded to such a question, knowing that he didn’t wish her to know, but he did want me to.

This was such stunning evidence of someone speaking from the other side, that even I, as a sceptical triple Capricorn was convinced.

My wife, Karen has had many of these experiences. Often her grandfather would come to her when he was about to take another relative. That person would always pass fairly soon after.

Karen has Mercury and Venus conjunct in Pisces aspected to a Uranus / Pluto conjunction. She also has the Moon conjunct the IC and a very strong connection with her past family.

My step daughter works in an aged care home. She assures me that clients seeing their own dead relatives is a commonplace experience and that the careworkers and nurses are well versed in how to respond.

Since that moment, I have felt closer to both Mum and Dad than I have since I was a kid.

I now see that there is much more to our reality than I did before. I have always been open to the notion of other lives – it is the one spiritual view of the world that fits best with astrology. But it’s only since being with Karen that I have had actual experience and remembrance of my own previous lives.

My feeling now is that these dimensions exist alongside us but we don’t see them because we are caught up in our own thoughts and our brains are trained not to see them.

When someone close to us passes, they are in the process of moving between these dimensions and this gives us a greater opportunity to see through the veil, so to speak.

However we are usually full of sadness for our departing loved one and this can mean we are less able to see where they are going to because we are caught up too much with what and who they are leaving.

I recognise now that I missed this opportunity when my Dad died. I did have a sense of his presence for a few hours after his passing but it receded quickly because I had other issues going on in my head at the time.

But I also know that my transits those 20 years ago wouldn’t permit it.

My Mum’s passing corresponded with Pluto’s exact conjunction with my Ascendant so I have been blessed to experience it as a powerful transforming force in my life.

Just like with Pluto conjunct my Moon, there was loss, but the gains that came with it are immeasurably greater.

The way I see astrology is that it isn’t fate, but transits mean that we have to experience a certain type of energy at a particular time.

How we respond to that energy is down to us and it will also condition whether we grow from the experience or whether we suffer from it.

The one thing you can’t do with a Pluto transit is hold onto the past. Well you can but Pluto will just go ahead and blow things apart anyway and you will hurt much more because of your holding on.

But if you are ready to accept powerful change in your life and the loss of something that was dear and important to you, you can surf the energy of the transit to take you to experience things on a different level altogether.

My Mum brought me up to believe that spirituality is the most important thing in life. She has now taught me that it is even more important in death. 

I will never be able to thank her enough.

Posted on June 9th 2022