It’s a well known fact that some of the most intelligent people ever to walk the earth are Capricorns. One favourite of mine is the father of modern science, Isaac Newton.
Newton, like all sensible people, was an astrologer. When questioned about this by Edmond Halley, he responded ” I have studied the subject, you sir are nothing but a fopdoodle, a nick ninny, a rank spoon. “
These days people don’t have the time to study astrology because they have to post videos of their cats dancing on Tiktok and binge watch old repeats of Neighbours, but back in the 17th century no-one had those excuses, so anyone who spent their entire life searching for a comet without actually asking what it might mean would surely deserve to be considered the basest form of kitchen cutlery.
Because astrology is that simple. It’s in your face constantly.
In actual fact, Halley wasn’t so much a fool as a massive egotist with no interest in a system that suggested his skills as an astronomer were simply a result of the time of his birth.
He made this discovery in September 1682, when both Jupiter and Saturn were opposite his Ascendant and square to his Sun.
Any astrologer of his day would have told him this would be a career peak if he’d bothered to ask them.
These kind of turning points are easier to pick out when two of the Sun, Moon and Ascendant are in close aspect together.
One of the great joys of writing about astrology is that it can give you permission to cosmically link subjects that no-one else would have ever put together.
Which neatly allows us to make the quantum jump to Belgian footballer Romelu Lukaku
With Mars in Leo trine Venus and Aries as well, he has been described as a powerhouse, a rampaging striker.
In 10 years since first signing for Chelsea, Lukaku has broken the record for accumulated transfer fees, costing a total of over £ 300 million. But in terms of his overall career, the jury is still somewhat out.
He started out at Anderlecht becoming the Belgian league’s top scorer and was snaffled up by Chelsea in 2011, but was disappointing and went out on loan to WBA and Everton, before moving to Goodison Park.
At Everton he was back amongst the goals finishing 2nd top scorer in the league, quite a feat when you consider who he was playing for.
This got him a £90m move to Man Utd where after a decent start he lost form dramatically and they offloaded him to Inter Milan.
An avalanche of goals at the San Siro brought Inter to win Serie A for the first time for a decade which was immediately followed by the club cashing in on him to send him back to Chelsea last year for £ 100m.
Since then Lukaku has been absolute crap and he stoked controversy when during an interview with Sky Italia, he reported being “not happy” with the situation at Chelsea, and that head coach Thomas Tuchel “has chosen to play with another system” comparing the teams tactics with that at Inter Milan. In the same interview, he went on to express his wish to return to Inter “in the near future”. Consequently, Tuchel dropped him from the squad altogether and Chelsea sent him on loan back to Inter.
He has been called the Premier League’s greatest flop. Why ?
Some have said the Premier league is ” too technical and too fast ( lol ) ” for Lukaku, but he was awesome at Everton.
Others have said that he has an ego as large as Edmond Halley’s, but that didn’t stop Cristiano Ronaldo.
Maybe his early issues were because he took a fancy to Jose Mourinho’s daughter or perhaps his own wag just preferred the fashion houses of Milan to those of West London.
Or perhaps it’s simply about Jupiter and Saturn.
Jupiter was in Aquarius throughout 2021, opposite Lukaku’s Mars conjunct his Moon and square to his Sun as he rampaged through the Italian defences.
He joined Chelsea in August with Saturn opposite his Mars.
Jupiter was still square to his Sun as he started well in London, but that was over by mid November.
Saturn has been conjunct his Moon and square to his Sun and will be for the whole of 2022.
So what will happen now ?
Lukaku made his Premier League debut for Chelsea on May 13th 2012 with Jupiter exactly conjunct his Sun.
In the summer of 2023, Uranus will be conjunct his Sun and he will be 30 so Chelsea will probably sell him for peanuts. Which would be really dumb because the season 2023 – 24 ends with Jupiter ( and Uranus ) back conjunct Lukaku’s Sun.
Maybe he will end up at at Roma since he was obviously named after them.
Why did he flop at Chelsea twice ?
Neptune conjunct the club’s Sun and square its Moon together with a Saturn Return and squaring the club Mars has seen the back of Vladimir Putin’s enabler, owner Roman Abramovich and briefly raised the spectre of possible bankruptcy.
Given that Chelsea’s Mars / Saturn square sits right on Lukaku’s Sun / Moon / Pluto T Square, it was inevitable that he would fail at Stamford Bridge.
Edmond Halley was apparently great drinking buddies with Russian Czar, Peter the Great.
The story goes that Peter wanted to meet Isaac Newton, but the wise astrologer got out of it and sent Halley in his place and after much brandy was consumed he pushed the Czar round Deptford in a wheelbarrow.
So maybe Romelu Lukaku is a reincarnation of Halley and was always meant to play a role in ending the Russian empire in West London to get revenge for Vlad the Impaler comparing himself to his old mate.
Now there is a rank spoon.
Posted on July 2nd 2022