You know how it is on a Sunday morning, lying in bed reading the back pages of the newspapers only to find its mostly full of gossip, just like all the other pages. With only one match left everyone’s turned their focus to the transfer window which opens tomorrow.
They’re all forecasting a big one presumably because the premier league clubs have got so much more TV money to burn. Also there are no annoying distractions like World Cups to give players excuses for not answering questions about their impending big money moves.
But the main reason its going to be big is that Jupiter is in Leo. Jupiter is all about big money and travelling abroad and Leo always likes the grand gesture.
Jose Mourinho has already said it will be like Wall Street collapsing, and he should know because the last time Jupiter was in late Leo, it was his club that was doing all the business.
In June 2003, Roman Abramovich parked his tank on the Stamford Bridge turf and started firing £ 50 notes around in a scattergun fashion.
Glen Johnson, Wayne Bridge, Damien Duff, Joe Cole, Juan Sebastian Veron, Adrian Mutu, Alexei Smertin, Hernan Crespo and Claude Makelele all arrived for a combined total of £ 104 million.
I know that figure doesn’t look so enormous given today’s prices, but in 2003 it was staggering.
But it wasn’t just Chelsea, there was the small matter of David Beckham leaving United for Real Madrid for £ 25 million with a more than adequate replacement in Cristiano Ronaldo arriving from Sporting Lisbon for a mere £ 12 million.
That year Jupiter was in Leo right up till the end of the window before it moved into parsimonious Virgo, so there were a few deadline day deals.
This time round Jupiter leaves Leo about mid August so maybe all the big money buys will have been done by then.
Johnson, Bridge, Cole, Makelele and Ronaldo all had Jupiter transits to their Sun at some time over the summer of 2003. So rather than waste time reading that the Sunday Express reckon that Raheem Sterling is not going to Bayern Munich after all, Capricorn Research feels it makes more sense to look at Jupiter for transfer guidance.
Jupiter says that Sterling might not be packing his lederhosen, but he will definitely be off somewhere. Sterling has an exact Moon / Mars / Jupiter T Square and Jupiter will be on that Mars in the first couple of weeks of August. Liverpool might just as well accept it and cash in.
Capricorn Research is not going to say whether any of these transfers are wise or not at this stage. We will have a look at that just before the season starts. If I go round saying Raheem Sterling’s going to struggle in 2016 because Saturn is conjunct his Sun that might put off potential buyers and spoil all the fun of the window.
But Sterling might not be the biggest deal of the summer. Gareth Bale has Jupiter on his Mars as well but only for the first few weeks of June, so if anyone’s going to save him from his misery at the Bernabeu, they need to act fast.
Bale of course had Jupiter on his Cancerian Sun when, as predicted by Capricorn Research, he scored those famous goals in the Champions League and Copa Del Rey finals, but Real fans have the short term memory of a goldfish. Who can blame them when Bale was stupidly born at a time when Jupiter would transit his Mars during the close season.
Of course what Real Madrid and Florentino Perez are looking for is a collection of galacticos with 6 Suns and Mars each so they can have Jupiter transits every season. But then Perez has about as much grasp of football reality as his fellow Piscean, Sepp Blatter.
Another big name, surprisingly not mentioned in the papers is Zlatan Ibrahimovic who has Jupiter conjunct his Mars in June as well. Either that or his agent made up his birthdate just like he has most of the quotes in his autobiography.
Mario Balotelli has got to be off in June as Jupiter is conjunct his Sun and square his Mars. All Liverpool have to do is find a club that have never heard of him.
But unless something happens in the next few days its probably too late for a move for Cristiano Ronaldo who will no doubt have a lovely holiday instead.
And despite all the fuss, it might also be too late for David de Gea as Jupiter was square to his Sun halfway through May.
Real keeper, Iker Casillas might be happy about that but he has Jupiter square both his Sun and Mars this summer so a move looks on the cards anyway.
Man Utd’s Adnan Januzaj could go either this week or sometime mid July as he has Jupiter aspecting both Sun and Mars.
Kevin De Bruyne will probably be leaving Wolfsburg mid June.
Expect Felipe Luis to head back to Athletico Madrid from Chelsea, perhaps as early as next week.
Now that Michel Platini has assured PSG that FFP will be downgraded, expect Angel di Maria to be off to Paris, probably about mid July. But he might not be creating chances for Edinson Cavani as Jupiter is opposite his Sun and trine his Mars at the same time. In fact this could be an intriguing swap deal. If it happens, just remember you heard it here first.
Everyone knows United will be busy, but Kevin Strootman seems to have fallen off their radar since his injury. He could be back on it or at least on someone’s as Jupiter’s opposite his Sun in July.
Other moves that are possibilities but long shots are Bayern’s Bastian Schweinsteiger and Real Madrid’s Marcelo.
Despite Man City’s denials Yaya Toure will probably leave in July. City might also look to offload Bacary Sagna, Ellaquim Mangala and Jesus Navas. Probably between the four of them they’ll raise enough money to get Sterling.
Nani is still on the payroll at Man Utd so something will have to give there with Jupiter aspecting both Sun and Mars. As is Tom Cleverly and he will make a move of some sort quite soon. United will also look to offload Jonny Evans.
Ron Vlaar will probably leave Aston Villa as well.
Petr Cech will probably leave Chelsea but not until August.
The latest prodigy to be saddled with the next Lionel Messi tag, Paulo Dybala will be on his way to a big club somewhere, probably Juventus and there’s every chance he will be joined by Sami Khedira.
Despite all the fuss, one who may well not be going anywhere is Paul Pogba. Andrea Pirlo, on the other hand could well be, age catches up with all of us even if you can get away with just walking round the pitch.
Liverpool are having a tricky end of season review and many are suggesting that Brendan Rodgers might be a casualty. Capricorn Research thinks its a year too early to be saying goodbye to their manager as the Reds own fate is tied up with the manager for a little while yet. But Adam Lallana and Lazar Markovic might be surprise casualties, particularly if they need to raise funds for more buys.
Rickie Lambert will probably leave Anfield as well.
Stoke’s Robert Huth will probably make his loan move to Leicester permanent in July.
Relegated Hull City will probably lose Michael Dawson, Nikita Jelavic and Jake Livermore. How upset they’ll be about that is uncertain.
There are some people we already know will be leaving.
Daniel Alves’ contract is up at Barcelona but Jupiter has past the square to his Sun so he’s saying he might stay. I won’t be convinced until mid July though because Jupiter is square his Mars.
Radamel Falcao has already been deemed surplus to requirements at United as Jupiter was square his Mars last month. It will be opposite his Sun at the end of June so another surprising big money saga could occur then. Don’t bother asking why.
Divock Origi we already know is on his way to Liverpool as soon as the window opens, which is very appropriate as he has Jupiter exactly on his Mars tomorrow. Shame he was voted as worst striker in the French league last season.
Memphis Depay arrived early at Man Utd with Jupiter in aspect to his Mars.
Burnley’s Danny Ings we know will be going somewhere but that might not be finalised until the end of July.
There’s always a few clubs sweating about holding onto their stars right till the end of the window and this year will be no different. The following list are long shots but if I was their manager I would be holding my breath until Septmeber 1st because there is the odd touch of Jupiter about.
Arsenal’s Santi Cazorla, Alex Oxlade Chamberlain, Wojciech Szczesny, Mathieu Flamini and even Aaron Ramsey.
Southampton’s Jay Rodriguez,
Newcastle’s Daryl Janmaat and Mossa Sissoko,
Juventus Giorgio Chellini, Andrea Barzagli and Claudio Marchisio
Liverpool’s Martin Skrtel,
Spurs Christian Eriksen, Vlad Chiriches, Nabil Bentaleb and Frederic Fazio
Aston Villa’s Fabian Delph
West Brom’s Ben Foster
Everton Phil Jagielka and Leighton Baines
Chelsea’s Ramires, Branislav Ivanovich and although extremely unlikely footballer of the year Eden Hazard.
And another extreme longshot Barcelona’s Andres Iniesta.
Its going to be a very long close season, nearly three months of no football, but if we keep an eye on all these Jupiter transfer sagas it may well soften the blow.